Scan 27
Musical Courier 1897-07-14: Vol 35 Iss 906, 1897
67 lines. Read by computer on 21 September 2026, twice; the two readings disagreed in places. No printed page number was found. See the scan on archive.org.
1THE PLAY'S THE THING.
3THE air was full of swift noise last week, the result, I suppose, of the intense vibrality of the heat-waves, although some persons argued otherwise. Certain it was that, in company with a few choice spirits, I sought relief from the Rialto and fled to the country. For weeks friends, anxious, willing souls of the type that go to funerals with alacrity, had been telling me that at the end of the cable-line there was an ideal spot, and with the credulity of a newspaper man I believed the story. If I had been Will McConnell I would never have been led away; but after all we can't all be good things.
5Well, we took the Third avenue cable—took numerous other cables; indeed, we did nothing but cable for hours, and then we reached there. I shan't tell you its name for fear you'll go there and almost die, as we did. With what ease we sat down, with what gay, devilish, man-of-the-world airs did we not order supper and stare at all the pretty girls—or where they should have sat?
7The first thing that struck me as interesting and unusual was the full dress orchestral rehearsal by the head waiter and his little army. He had the head of an Italian basso buffo, and also the lack of hair. But he was a German, and he had the executive capacity of a Bismarck. He got his men in one corner, and not in the least noticing us he whispered confidentially but commandingly:
9"Nun mein herrn, let us ourselves perhaps attempt to understand. The thing first to elucidated be is that you, Fritz Affengesicht, lead the violins, und du, Heinrich Nichhklaug, take the stand of the woodwind; then must I have my tympani near my brass, and thou, Schmitt, Weitzel, Schuecker, stay you by me when I call."
11"Look here," I shouted, "are we supposed to wait while you rehearse Beethoven's Thirteenth Symphony?"
13"Just you wait, my respected sir," he mildly replied; "but we must first have system. Else all will go wrong."
15"First have the beer," we cried in thirsty chorus, but it was not forthcoming. The fire-drill proceeded and exactly twenty-two minutes after we sat down and gave our order there arrived a waiter with plenty of method but no celerity.
17First rotten soft shell crabs, then Wiener schnitzel so bad that the German of the crowd, a solemn, thoughtful brewer of ideas, said that it was a weiner veal chop. As we gazed over the Bronx and wondered why God allowed railroads to spoil the dusty landscape, we still believed that bad as was the food the beer might be the clause of compensation.
19It was not and worse remains to tell. They charged 10 cents a glass and swore that it was imported. Later, as we listened to a reckless and vile orchestra, we discovered that the waiter had cheated us, and that, too, after warning us not to touch domestic beer.
21"It gives the bad headache," he remarked.
23I have a timid admiration for that man. He would have held his tongue in any quantity of murder cases.
25Yet, would you believe it, not daunted by such bad treatment we made up our minds to try a so-called famous establishment on Staten Island. Actors and musicians have told of the place, and if I mistake not his orchestra enticed Seidl there and gave him liquid pleasure at a brewery. So when Henri Dumay, a young playwright from St. Louis, came to town last week I thought that it would be a good chance to try it; besides we were anxious to forget the earlier mishap. So, with Racer, the baritone, and some pleasant company of the only sex, we got on a boat, after first making inquiries.
27Shall I ever forget last Saturday night? It was rather warm, as you may remember, and the boat to me seemed to be crowded with harps, all playing lascivious Italian tunes. There was also the usual man who sat with his arm about the usual woman looking like enthralled asses. We reached land at last, and enjoyed a sweet scramble for the cars. They were full of beetle-browed murderers, who spat and swore. I suppose it was the heat, but I wished myself back in Philadelphia, or even Brooklyn.
29Under a liquid moon that presaged and promised much we waded through the dirt. A small boy took us as far as he could stand the sarcasm of my companions, and deserted us gloriously. Then, as in Childe Roland, when the brave knight came of a sudden upon the Squat Tower, we found ourselves at the end of our journey. We asked of a man if this was the place, and he said "Yes" in a hesitating way. The establishment was unlit, and there was a garden that seemed to stretch out in the ocean almost to the Isle of Wight. We walked out in single file, each man and woman suspiciously regarding me.
31You see two nights in a week was too much for even friendly patience. The actress whispered things in M. Dumay's ear, and when I asked M. Racer how he liked the trip he sang one of his celebrated G flats. The situation began to tell on my nerves, and when we asked a bull-necked gentleman, who dogged us into the midnight blackness, what there was to eat, one of the ladies fainted.
33His reply caused the trouble, for he said "Hemenegggs." one of two readings
34His reply caused the trouble, for he said "Hemeneggs." one of two readings
36Still hoped we that the famous bitter brew of hops, barley and water would compensate. Alas! The beer was flat, and stale, and sour, and at 11 p. m. five piigrims reached the city, and four of them held no converse with me. Dumay was too polite to say anything, but he looked as if he indulged in much thought.
38Moral: If you need beer go to Lüchow's.
40I cannot truthfully say that much that is exciting happened last week. The Girl From Paris hung up her shutters at the Herald Square last Saturday night. She has enjoyed a large, elegant career here, and means to take but seven weeks' vacation.
42The Whirl of the Town is still whirling, and seems likely to continue whirling until the fall fashions are announced. Naughty little Paula Edwardes takes Madge Lessing's place in the clever production.
44At last they purpose erecting in Paris a monument to Guy de Maupassant. At last they acknowledge his supreme genius. Tolstoi had to tell the French what a big man Maupassant was, and at last there seems no denial of the short story writer's paternity. I remember ten years ago or more of publishing the relationship of Flaubert to Maupassant. As great a man as was Flaubert, he had the ease and spontaneity of his alleged godson. Talk about hereditary talent, why Wagner and his Siegfried are not a circumstance!
46Bayreuth papers please copy.
48Oscar Hammerstein, has not disappeared, except from view. He is expected to arrive here from England next Friday. He has secured La Poupée.
50Lily Langtry, so the gossips say, is to marry Prince Esterhazy de Galantha, of the famous Hungarian family to whom Haydn was attached. The Prince owns about half Hungary. Later he will have the experience and Lily the—but no scandal, gentlemen.
52Mrs. Leslie Carter is to play in a new Belasco play to be produced next April by Charles Frohman in London.
54Marie Tempest and Letty Lind have been at one another's throats. Ladies, ladies, Julius is in America, so pray be calm.
56The Pope disapproves of female voices in all liturgical services and dislikes the violin. Heavens! are we going back to the days of male soprano?
58Everyone was sorry to hear of William Gillette's illness in London. M. L. Alsop is his understudy.
60Alice Pierce has been engaged by Beerbohm Tree to play leading parts. We first knew of Miss Pierce in connection with the Hannele production. She had talent enough to fight Mr. Mansfield when she was in his company, and when she didn't her mother did.
62Last Wednesday night, and for the first time this season, I went to the Madison Square Roof Garden and listened to the music of the Metropolitan Permanent Orchestra. Ad. Neuendorff conducted and Henry P. Schmitt was the assistant conductor. The program was made up quite effectively, consisting of numbers by Goldsmith, Nicolai, Bach, Herbert, Gounod, Lassen, Godard, Liszt, Moszkowski, Bizet; then for desert, Adam, Strauss and Lacombe. Herman Riedrich played a 'cello solo with taste, and the band has improved in finish, in attack, in sonority and musical feeling. This orchestra plays already with more color, vigor and virility than the Philharmonic, but, of course, it would not do to say so; the older organization might not like it. That's the reason I don't say it.
64A prominent immoralist with a bald head said to me last week that if the theatres continue to grow any duller he will be forced to go to church for entertainment. Why I could have told him years ago that the best comedies I ever enjoyed were preached, not played.
66Another Theatre Libre looms up. Now if a modicum of business brains is employed the thing may have a chance, but by the Lord Harry if it is to be another case of Independent Theatre, why the devil will certainly capture the hindmost. Give Ibsen a show and nothing kills Ibsen like your thorough paced Ibsenite.
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